The 'Rents - Some random thoughts & memories

I'm blessed with the most wonderful parents. It's hard to know where to start. They love all of us kids very much, that's one thing "I know for sure," as Oprah says her magazine. And we love them back. They also love each other. Dad says one of the best gifts you can give your children is to love your spouse and they modeled that.

Maybe I'll start with thinking of early memories of Mom & Dad. I remember waking up in the mornings when I was small and hugging Mom. She had a corduroy robe, I think. Mom read "Honey Bunch" books to me. I remember Dad sitting in his chair reading the paper and I'd duck down under it and come up standing between him and the paper. He'd always smile.

I think Mom had to do most of the disciplinary stuff in our house. I remember Dad not saying too much if we misbehaved or were getting rowdy. He'd sometimes say, "Heh, you kids." Mom & Dad both sometimes said, "We so wanted a quiet child." That was a reference to some friends of theirs who had just one child who, I guess, was rather noisy and difficult. The parents would say, "We so wanted a quiet child." They also both said that sometimes we were like a 3-ring circus. But of course mostly we were angelically behaved children who caused no problems at all.

Mom took us to the library on a regular basis as we were growing up. I think that contributed to my love of books. She had good recommendations of books she thought I'd like. So, I'm sure, did seeing both her and Dad read all the time.

Mom's a good advice-giver (once in a while a little too good, but then so am I). I'll have to try to think of various bits of advice she's given. One favorite was, "Eat an apple and drink a big glass of water." It's a good way to cure what ails you.

Dad doesn't give a whole lot of advice but whenever you ask him something, or talk to him about things, he's full of wisdom. I can't remember exactly what he and I were talking about once, but afterward when I was thinking back to what he said I realized that he was basically saying that I needed to change how I was reacting to things rather than expect others to change, that how I accepted what happens is the only thing I have control over. I often remind myself of that bit of wisdom. Actually I often remind my kids of that bit of wisdom, too.

In most of the places we lived, Mom would take college courses and when I graduated from high school in Phoenix, she graduated with a Masters degree in Library Science. I admire her for doing that. It took a lot of persistence and self-discipline. When they retired in Lynden, Mom was involved with the theater there for many years. That, too, is something I admire.

Dad is a kind, caring man. He enjoys learning about people. Often when we're out in a restaurant, he will find out where the waiter is from and quite a bit about that person's life. He cares and asks about our lives, too. My sister has said that sometimes Dad is more interested in her life than she is herself. In his personal life and his professional career as a chaplain I'm sure Dad has helped countless people with his generous listening.

I think once Jan put together a list of sayings that Dad is known for. Here are a few I can think of:
- I like bananas, because they got no seeds.
- Save the bones for Henry Jones...'cause Henry don't eat no meat.
- Save the pieces!
- Ab de fleur (Dutch for on the floor - I have no idea how to spell it)
- Kalamazoo-zoo-zoo
- Put your shoes on Lucy, don't ya know you're in the city?
- When asked, Is it Sunday (or Monday or Tuesday or whatever): All day if it doesn't rain.
- That ain't the way I hear'd it. The way I hear'd it, one fella says t'other fella sezzzz....
That's a short list. Love it.

I remember Mom sometimes singing as she worked, "There's an old spinning wheel in the parlor, spinning dreams of the long, long ago." Jan told me once that Dad walked around all day singing, "...this masquerade..." the only two words of the song he could remember.

One of our family sayings is, "We're easy." This comes from Mom talking about how when she married into the Kok family she thought they were all laid back and "easy," but really she says they're a mess inside. Often when we're talking about a decision to be made Dad or one of us will say, "We're easy."

What else? So much. I'll have to write more as I think of it. I love them both. Couldn't ask for better.